Locations, LLCs, and Love

The motherboard has arrived from the motherboard fixers. The mighty computer will be back online in a jiff.

While we whittled away the whiles waiting for that wonky whatnot, we’ve been working!!

In what way?

Well. It seems the yokel who wrote this thing decided our narrative should take place in not one or two, but FIVE distinct, commercially owned locations. Two bars, a flower shop, a café, and a hotel. Good job, yokel.

The bars aren’t a problem. We drink enough to have developed strong, alcohol-laden friendships in local establishments. And yes, Phil, I’m holding you to your whiskey-coke promises.

But that still leaves us to find a café, flower shop, and hotel that would be cool with the headache of an inexperienced, no-budget production company coming in and mucking up their junk. But you get nothing if you don’t try so we drove around on Saturday, pointed our wishful fingers and said, “There. That is where we want to shoot our film.” We wrote down the addresses on pieces of paper and took pictures and found our dream locations. So, blessed readers, any of you have friends here, here, or here?

UPDATE: An awesome co-worker at the beloved day job has an in at the Ace! He’s gonna pass on the good word. Things like this happen and you think god must be a movie buff.

We’ve also legitimized ourselves. The screenplay has been officially submitted to the United States Copyright Office. We can now freely pass out copies of the script like enticing candy that lures children into white vans.

And the wheels have begun to roll on the LLC wagon. Ariana, Jeffrey, Brandon, and I are soon to be the Organizers and Managers of Such a Pretty Garden, LLC.

We’re getting there. Sometimes this endeavor feels like looking into a big pile of string that you’re convinced is your job to unravel and you’re poking around looking for the end of the string and soon, you realize you’re bound up in string, no closer to finding either end and now all of the sudden you have to pee.

To come…a list of things we need and how you can help!

(SPOILER: You will be able to help by giving us the things we need.)

Technicalities

Sometimes I mess things up. I was trying to get the "comments" link to work properly on this here blog (comments weren't registering, even though they were there) and I became frustrated so I began pushing buttons. Apparently they were the wrong buttons. Some of the wonderful and very, very welcome comments were apparently deleted because now, I can not find them. Some comments are still here. But some have gone away.

If any of the lost comments were yours, please know that I am seriously sorry for my techo-retardation. Please please re-post! Comment long, hard and often!

It helps me to know that I'm not writing into a vortex, dancing with myself, or falling in a forest when no one's around.

The yeasty smell of the dead

Things go wrong. Even when you want nothing more than for them to go right… When this happens, do you breathe deeply and evenly, trying to get your soul and heart to flow with the capricious randomness of the world around you? Do you curse the heavens and grit your teeth and notch up your resolve? Do you nap?

Our newly purchased, super-fast computer—the very computer that will edit, add effects to, and make perfect our collective filmic vision—has crapped out. Specifically, the motherboard crapped out and now we must send it back to its maker and get it fixed. It’s under warranty, but let me tell you, when you have a shooting script sitting on the dining room table, looking at you with wide-eyed potential every time you pass, the last thing you want to do is wait while some company in Korea fixes its crapped out product.

But then there are signs that things are going to go right. Witness: in our script, one character uses and describes a certain strange and bad-smelling plant. Brandon chose which particular plant through an on-line search of strange plants that smell bad. I’d say he chose this strange plant about two weeks ago…

Two days ago, we found that selfsame strange plant growing in our tiny patch of dirt in front of our apartment. I have not seen this plant before. I did not plant it. It is a voodoo lily and it is growing in our front yard. It smells like death meets halitosis, it looks like it wants to poison you, and I will not remove this plant because I know it is a sign that even though things happen that I desperately do not want to happen, such as our motherboard taking a big dump on my sunshine, things will work out. We have voodoo on our side.

The Shooting Script by the Numbers

Do you love stats? Here are a few:

SCRIPT INDEX

Number of roles (not counting extras): 23
Ratio of female to male roles: 11:12
Number of swear words spoken: 21
Instances of the word "potato": 8
Approximate age of youngest character and oldest character, respectively: 25, 60
Number of scenes involving a swimming pool: 2
Number of statues of former Presidents of the United States: 1
Ratio of action vehicles to parking tickets issued: 9:4
Number of separate locations: 35
Percentage that are commercially owned: 26
Minimum number of alcoholic drinks consumed: 18
Number of medicinal drinks: 1
Amount a main character claims is in his wallet when asked if he'd like to buy another character's artwork: $10

Blam! Hip Hop Pool Party!*

I've finished writing the screenplay.

Brandon is having his way with it, then he will present the shooting script to the Company this weekend.

So it begins...

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